It really doesn't. Especially when you see people pulling out the double claw hammers at your company.
Features that have limited real benefits with lots of risk get abused all the time. They are the retarded tools of the world creating technical debt for everybody else and they should be retired.
Extract is one of the stupidist language feature conceived precisely because it puts something so ripe for abuse into the hands of idiots. It even has a simple name that practically encourages its abuse.
Your post might be [slightly] humorous, but as an argument against PHP language constructs it fails miserably.