This is actually a known and discussed issue in NVC circles. I highly recommend Miki Kashtans workshop "Naturalizing NVC" [0] to everyone. A shorter watch about the topic is a video from "Cup of Empathy"[1].

[0] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oHtDZ98CTDc

[1] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WiCtf5sZWHA&t=266s