On the flip side, I recently traveled to see my father and the experience really shook me up. He has a lot of skill and inspiration; a welder blacksmith plumber carpenter inventor in his spare time. With his raw talent he should have opened a shop and been paid for his work, but he always stuck to manual labor jobs.
It's easy for me to say "he should have opened a shop", but I'm also facing the same obstacles and fears that held him back. I don't want to grow old convincing myself that I was never given a break. I need to make that break for myself.
I had exactly the same thought about setting an example for my child. I took on employment recently with hindsight on the coming child (nervousness of my spouse about finances somehow getting to me), but I am really not happy with the decision. It is difficult to quit again, but really, I don't want to set this example for my son. On the other hand, maybe my son would prefer me being able to by him all the latest toys (playstations etc). Who knows :-) (And not being on steady employment of course does not imply being poor, but it certainly seems more risky).
I was also floored at a recent garden party meeting other parents when I learned how much it is simply taken for granted that men are away most of the time and don't get to see their kids grow up.
Counter point: doing something of your own is going to involve lots of time, so you may get to spend less of it with your child. I think that's more important than the stability factor, although that plays a roll too.
My daughter is a little over 2 years old and I have been working on my startup the entire time she has been alive, I can't think of anything I could have done that would have let me see her more than being on my own has. (well, other than not having a job)
I work from home so I see her when she gets up in the morning, I take her to school when it is in session (she goes half-days during the year), I see her during the day for lunch and snack times (my office is by the kitchen). Then right at 5 I stop working and we all have dinner, then we hang out and play. After she goes back to bed at 7/7:30 I often head back to work and work until 10 or 11.
I couldn't imagine having to leave for work before she wakes up and if I hit traffic on the way home not getting home until 6... I would see her a grand total of 90 minutes a day.
Working for myself also lets us do much more, we take more vacations (since I can work a couple days and keep up) and last year we spent 5 weeks in San Francisco.
I collaborate remotely with my co-founder on one project and a designer contractor on another.
That is an issue that she wants to come and play with me during the day, but usually I let her hang out for a little bit then talk her into going up to her playroom.
I'm not sure whether or not your wife is working, but how do you manage your time with her and that relationship? Is it just shared time that you spend with your daughter in the evening (since you usually go back to work after your daughter goes to bed)?
She doesn't work, so we see each other throughout the day and when my daughter naps she usually helps me out with financial/tax type work for the businesses.
At night we all spend time together for dinner, hanging out with our daughter, and then usually 1-2 nights a week I don't work (depending on how busy I am it might be more) and we watch a movie and hang out. (or get a sitter to go out)
>"One day your daughter is this delicate little creature that you’re bringing home from the hospital for the first time. Then, all of a sudden she’s very close to standing on her own..."
And the next time you turn around she's mad that you won't let her borrow the car to go hook up with the meathead boyfriend she just told you about. It all goes by so fast.
It's easy for me to say "he should have opened a shop", but I'm also facing the same obstacles and fears that held him back. I don't want to grow old convincing myself that I was never given a break. I need to make that break for myself.